ROSEANNE'S BLOG

November 11, 2008

KCAA Radio Show - September 18th, 2008

Posted at 12:50 PM   -  Permalink

           

KCAA Radio Show - September 17th, 2008

Posted at 12:31 PM   -  Permalink

           

January 23, 2007

My Best Line?

The best line I think I ever wrote was:

Posted at 5:28 PM   -  Permalink

           

Jury Duty

For the first time in fifteen years, my shrink would not sign the excuse me out of jury duty papers, for mental illness. He had the audacity to suggest to me that as I was now cured of did. I, me we would have to step up to our civics duty and serve their country. I did it, I served my country. That was a huge lesson in humility to my fat stupid deluded bought off sexygirlself. I was scared to see any violent crime, as I fear it would trigger my mind to fall apart again.

Posted at 5:27 PM   -  Permalink

           

Letter to Bush

Today is the first day I have ever emailed a President of the US and signed my name. I said I want him to listen to the americfan people and demand he not escalate but de escalte. His cowboy shit don't work outside of texas. Go back to texas on your billion dollar slice of the pie. Retire and get ready to meet jesus, he is here! Hail you Jesus! You are the King Mohammed! Buddha is cute too!!! and at least he is fat!!!! My god is fat!!!! and he is a she!!!! big mama has decided to come out of the house, and onto her porch. She tells me to tell you that you better figure out a way to get along or you are all going to perish. She is pissed off like only a grandmother can get over the bickering of her brood!!!!!!!!!!!!! dagnabbit!!!

Posted at 3:52 PM   -  Permalink

           

Fact is God...

Fact is god. When you know the facts, you can see clearly. Hope and faith are Egypt, the land of slavery of the soul. When the twelve tribes escaped from Egypt, they did so because all hope was gone, and the fact was that they were slaves to Pharoah. Moses led them out, and they left because they had no hope and they had no faith that things under pharoah would ever change. They took the action that hope and faith deny. Only action brings change. Even the smallest action forces things to change. I first told jokes about George Bush in Vegas right after 9-11. People walked out, booed and I got banned from there. I kept on telling those jokes. I told them at Michael Moore's rallies in universities all over the country. I took action against the bush/cheney regime. Jokes like the ones I told, and the ones other comedians told are the highest form of alchemy available. Today almost everyone in the country sees things the way I did and do now. I had a hand in changing the minds of the American people. I took the actions necessary. I had courage, not hope, I had fact, not faith. These things, courage and fact and action are the stuff of Truth, which is God. The evil people in power in this world keep selling the false ideas of faith and hope, because those things without fact and action, ensure slavery of the soul. It requires alot of horrific child abuse to create a being who lives by faith, and not fact.

Posted at 11:52 AM   -  Permalink

           

January 22, 2007

Knowledge of Fact

Hope is not based on fact. Knowledge of fact is what brings power.

Posted at 5:22 PM   -  Permalink

           

Paranoid Note Number Two

Romney will beat hilary like a red haireded stepchild. This is their plan.. get ready for taliban mormon style '08. Myself and all other jews who demand that israel retreat from jerusalem will be at gitmo. This is Israel's opportunity to make peace, it is my prayer that they will open their hearts enough to allow the world to share the energy of what lies buried under the city.

Posted at 5:21 PM   -  Permalink

           

Hope is the Enemy

Only prayer (meditation) can help now. There is no hope left at all, in fact, hope is the enemy.

Posted at 4:42 PM   -  Permalink

           

January 16, 2007

Live Show on Thursday at the Lincoln Theatre

I will be in miami at the lincoln theatre on thursday (1/18) night for two shows!

When:
Thursday, January 18, 2007

Where:
Lincoln Theatre
Miami Beach, FL

Posted at 9:29 AM   -  Permalink

           

January 14, 2007

Fascions

The burka of the west is the apron. Aprons are back big in the fascions.. (as we called it in Utah)..the fascions are saying get back in the kitchen, ladies.

Posted at 9:46 AM   -  Permalink

           

Linking Websites

Everyone should get their own websites, and then link them in a summit! Everyone of you people should have your own websites, and then link them to rw, and to each other!!! Lots of websites is a good good thing, as long as they link, I checked it out.

Posted at 9:42 AM   -  Permalink

           

Hollywood

Hollywood is a cancer upon humanity. It is run by idiots who think they are savants.

Posted at 9:41 AM   -  Permalink

           

January 13, 2007

God is Reality

Focus and breathe. Change the energy. Look up just until your neck hurts, then look down. The act of just looking skyward/heavenward into the sun causes chemicals to do good things in your brain. (this info is free and comes with no minister/molesters attached to it). This is a good way to change the energy in you. Too much positive is as dangerous as too much negative. Both of them obscure reality, which is GOD.

God is reality: We are in a war to the death over oil that is just about to end. Oil will be nationalized, no matter how many americans die. Bush knows this, and so is about to launch WW3, the War over Water, just getting set to begin. While we were distracted by porn and the bloated non issue of gay marriage, our corporate rulers won the right to privatize our water. In other words, we are going to have to pay for clean and drinkable water real soon...even to bathe in...it will cost as much as halliburton wants it to cost. (look it up at acorn.org)

The place formerly known as the united states of america is no more. The will of the people has absolutely no bearing on the government in any way, whether by landslide, or stolen election. It does not matter what the people want. Taxation without representation.. welcome to communism! What we felt we had the right to waste and has caused lack on the other side of the planet, is now gone.

The Draft is coming, get ready slackers...you will be living with your parents, getting ready to go to iraq, or maybe venezuela, who knows, and unable to afford an apartment, who's average price per month will be 6K. Your jobs at fast food restauraunts will make that impossible. But you will console yourselves with your porn and your celeb gossip, and your oprah winfrey led "spirituality" will allow you to embrace all materialistic things, while you call the black poor in the inner city ghettos unworthy of your support, and play your tv/video games until your neighbor comes in and just ends your life because you are the wrong color, party, religion, sex, sexual preference, caste, opinion, nationality.

Posted at 3:53 PM   -  Permalink

           

January 12, 2007

RW Forums Have Been Locked Temporarily

Dear RW Members,

We are trying to come up with better solutions to deal with the constant stream of spam, prevalence of trolls, and the continuation of cross talk on the forums. We'll try to get these items resolved as quickly as possible. Until then, we are locking down the forums to posting. We will send out an email to let you know when posting is open again. All existing topics are still available for everyone to read.

Thanks for your patience,

RW Forum Admin

Posted at 9:48 AM   -  Permalink

           

January 11, 2007

Bitching

i bitch, therefore i am

Posted at 12:23 PM   -  Permalink

           

You Lose...

divide and conquer..congratulations, you lose!

Posted at 12:21 PM   -  Permalink

           

Worthy Opponent

worthy opponent? or excuse to bicker?

Posted at 12:20 PM   -  Permalink

           

January 9, 2007

IMPEACH

Posted at 2:43 PM   -  Permalink

           

The Temple

nepenthe: I know everything about the temple, I saw it with my own eyes under the wailing wall in jerusalem.. the temple where The Priestess served/ruled sharing power with a congress of judges and representatives, not for the people, but OF the people themselves.. farmers, not lobbyists for farms, but actual farmers had seats with the richest physicians and scientists...It had grand rooms that housed laboratories for medicines and herbs, alchemy of metals and crystals, poetry and art and music served the communities and were high arts... mathematics and science were the blessings the priestesses bestowed on the people...truth in every single form, a building bigger than any other in the middle of town...the entire city served it...it had centralized democracy like we try to copy now, but cannot, because the bullshit individual idea we are constantly sold can never work in the interest of peace or love or harmony. We all need to forget that bullshit and know we are only here for each other......

hey, DR. OFAH, this is an idea!! Let's raise the goddess!!! LET'S GO ALL THE WAY, AND STOP AT NOTHING... LET'S HONOR OUR MOTHER THE EARTH, and show each other how we will live better and longer that way!!! Its like earth day, only I want the word goddess in there, cuz I do not want to see this spiritual idea co opted by child molesting boy priests again!

Posted at 2:38 PM   -  Permalink

           

January 8, 2007

There is only one Everything

energy gathered must be dispersed.

energy dispersed must be gathered.

Posted at 12:15 PM   -  Permalink

           

Hatred of Woman Causes War

I read where the women in baghdad are being asked to tell their husbands to give up the militias. I have said forever that war will end when women intercede on behalf of the "enemy's" women and their children. It is the hatred of woman that causes every single war.

Posted at 12:10 PM   -  Permalink

           

America's Funniest Mom

I have admitted that my addiction to drama, food, the unknowable, and doing everything but working with people, must give way to my need to tell jokes and perform. I will therefore be hosting for Nickolodean, the search for America's funniest Mom. I didn't think I could re-do the Mom mojo, now that I am a glam elite rich DIVA. But thanks to my awesome co-writer John Argent, my crack team and some really positive feedback from you, (the masses of roseanne loving consumers) who actually paid to see me do standup this year, thereby making me more of a "provable" presence in any new venture (RW) and therefore bankable, and therefore payable. I am accepting a large check from the gracious people at NickOLODEON and along with one of my favorite girl comics, kim coles, and my hilariously gay friend comic hal sparks, we come at you to find the NEW ROSEANNE.

Rack em up bitches; let's go...give it your best shot.

Posted at 12:07 PM   -  Permalink

           

Anti-Matter

pi lovers:

They have just identified anti-matter and photographed it! What was concealed is being revealed by the goddess! Here comes immortality! It's introduction will change every conversation. How will we feed all the people, when no one dies? How will we thin our herd? Will women continue to congratulate each other and themselves and throw baby showers and big family celebrations around unchecked fertility? Will they still stand around complaining that men do not "do their share"? Will some of the smarter ones get neutered early, and neuter their progeny at birth, like circumcision? I imagine women will do as they always do... heckle blame and complain, and nothing else, as they and their children get thinner and poorer and more "supportive" of each other's impotent victim hood, as is proscribed by the "churches" who run the soup lines and the burka-making factories. Wow, the balance will be tipped between the overweight and the starving, and the starving will outnumber the overweight 3-1. EAT THE FAT PEOPLE FIRST!!!! WE ARE THE MOST TENDER.

January 31, our call in show will be about who is behind 9-11 and why...call in if you have a theory!!!

Posted at 9:27 AM   -  Permalink

           

January 7, 2007

Truth is Where You Find It

joseph smith was a kaballist and the mormon church is based on kaballah, as is Christianity, judaism, and islam, and eastern religions too, but along an oriental paradigm...all religions are varying interpretations of kabballah.

Posted at 9:39 AM   -  Permalink